Sunday, as I celebrate with my children and their children, I do so with renewed dedication in support of those whose paths to parenthood remain difficult.
Mother’s Day tends to sneak up on me, announced only by a flood of social media ads. Growing up, my mother dismissed it as a manufactured Hallmark holiday. So later on as a mom, I became weirdly indifferent and ultimately ambivalent about the day. As a child, I was never quite sure what to do with the gold-sprayed noodle pencil holders that I had made for mom, so I hold the day lightly, embracing whatever came my way, expecting and appreciating the joy of my children. But this year it feels different and more urgent.
In 1973, I celebrated the passage of Roe v. Wade, believing that the fight for the preservation of our reproductive rights had finally been won. For years, it was settled law, until suddenly this year it wasn’t. I recognize that there is now a need for renewed vigilance. I brought my children into the world with little preparation and not much forethought, and I learned the art of motherhood through a crash course of on-the-job training. Through it all, though, the choice of motherhood was mine.
Now with grown children of my own, I can appreciate the ease of my own journey, as I have watched too many younger women endure grueling paths toward a hope of motherhood. Some through IVF, navigating invasive procedures with uncertain outcomes. Some through surrogacy and the gifts of donors. And yet, still, there are those who, despite medical intervention, are never able to conceive. And at the same time, women are facing heart-wrenching decisions and grappling with the complexities of terminating non-viable pregnancies for the sake of their own health. Yet through it all, we have had both law and medicine on our side.
I had hoped the days of back alley abortions were long past, having had more than one of my college friends suffer through these horrors, ultimately ending up with scars, both physical and emotional, etched into their souls, not for their decision but for the dangers posed by these illegal abortions and the humiliating and invasive procedures themselves, often at the hands of non-medical practitioners.
And now, have the hands of time made an inexorable turn backward, leaving women with few choices and fewer allies? For all that we may have lost, I am fearful and angry.
Sunday, as I celebrate with my children and their children, I do so with renewed dedication in support of those whose paths to parenthood remain difficult.
And I hope that future Mother’s Days will once again honor and respect a woman’s right to choose her own future, unburdened by expectations and barriers. A day that holds less weight as an obligation and instead celebrates choices made freely.
Please share your thoughts and stories with me, mom to mom, woman to woman.
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