The Tiresome ‘Mean Girl’ Trope: Letter to the Editor of the NY Times

To the Editor of the New York TImes

Re “‘Mean Girls’ Has Lost Its Bite. Girls Haven’t,”  by Jessica Bennett (Opinion, Feb. 3):

Having served as the head of two girls’ schools, one on the East Coast and one on the West, I not only disagree with Ms. Bennett, but also question the authenticity of a small subset of girls as a national trend.

I have observed just the opposite from my students over 26 years. I have found them to be thoughtful and caring and deeply involved in their world, always looking for ways to communicate with one another and with their teachers as they wrestle with complex problems with nuance and compassion. They care about racial inequity, climate change, gun control and politics as they search for ways to bridge cultural and political divides, while finding ways to communicate with one another.

I graduated from a girls school in 1965, and even back then there were cliques and cruelties, as there have always been. But I have lived long enough to see so many of my classmates and former students grow into smart and caring women.

I am weary of the mean girl trope, as it smacks of a deeply rooted misogyny, pitting girls against one another. My professional life spent in the company of girls has been a joy and an honor. In fact, I would put all of my hope for our fractured country’s future in their hands.

Priscilla Sands
Los Angeles

Reprinted from the New York Times February 19, 2024