Parenting Through Transitions: Letting Go and Embracing New Beginnings
I will never forget taking my daughter, Adele, to college. She is the eldest of my four children, and in many ways, she has always been the beacon for what lies ahead. On the day of her departure, the house was in chaos; we were loading up the car, and although she was starting college less than 45 minutes away, it did not make the entire adventure any less stressful.
Trying to park in the city of Philadelphia is always challenging, especially on the first day of freshman orientation. Like so many parents experiencing parenting through transitions, we lugged her things to her room, met her lovely roommate, and took her out for a quick bite to eat. But she was already anxious for our departure, ready to get started on this next chapter of her life.
The Emotional Shift in Parenting Through Transitions
As we pulled into our driveway, I was struck by the enormity of this transition. Adele would no longer be at the dinner table every night, nor would I hear about her day at school. After putting on my cheery mom face and watching my boys tuck into their dinner—barely tasting it and chattering or grunting about their days—I tried my best to be fully present, listening to their stories and offering comments or advice as needed. Climbing the stairs at the end of the day, I went into Adele’s room and sat on her bed, remembering the day I brought her home from the hospital. I was such a young mom, barely 22 and way in over my parenting head, yet we grew and learned together.
Parenting through transitions, especially during big milestones like sending your child off to college, brings about a flood of memories. I remembered how fragile Adele felt when she was born, and yet here she was, so strong and capable. I made many mistakes along the way, but I always led with love for this amazing person who was leaving me, as she should. I knew that I had prepared her for this time, but I wasn’t as confident about my own state of mind.
Embracing Change and Trusting the Process
In that quiet moment, I quietly said to myself, “We did it, my darling daughter.” You have grown into an amazing adult and are ready for whatever the future holds. My role was changing with her growing autonomy, and I felt confident that I would be ready when she needed me, knowing that from now on, it would be on her terms. But in that moment, awash in nostalgia, I fully embraced the flood of memories, knowing that life was shifting in a way I couldn’t control. Parenting through transitions means learning to let go, trusting the process, and knowing that even though your role changes, your love remains constant.
Launching a child to college is filled with so much more than just the physical distance—it’s about watching them step into their independence and letting go of the daily rhythm you’ve come to rely on for nearly two decades.
The New Balance of Parenting Through Transitions
As I sat with those feelings, I realized that this wasn’t an end, but merely a new beginning for both of us. My role, once central to every part of her day, would now be more of a guide from afar—ready when called upon but respectful of her newfound autonomy. This balance—learning to step back while always being ready to step forward when needed—is a crucial part of parenting through transitions.
It’s the unspoken part of parenting: preparing not just for them, but for us, too. As parents, we are constantly adjusting, always getting ready for these moments of release, knowing they are as necessary as they are bittersweet. And yet, what comfort I found in the fact that no matter how far she ventured or how independent she became, I would always be her mom—a role that might evolve but never diminishes.
A New Chapter for Both of Us
We did it, Adele and I. We reached this point together, and while her path has been her own to navigate for many years since then, she knows I will always be cheering from the sidelines, ready for the moments when she reaches out. Launching a child to college is not just about saying goodbye; it’s about trusting in all the love, lessons, and growth you’ve poured into them, and knowing that this isn’t the end of the story—just the next chapter.
For us, this adventure has taken a sharp turn, finding us living in the same city and making a podcast together. What an unexpected but joyous chapter for us. Through every stage of parenting through transitions, I have learned that while the roles may change, the love and connection only deepen.
If you’d like to hear more about how Adele and I have navigated life’s changes and embraced new opportunities together, join us on our podcast So, Mom…. Each episode offers a heartfelt look at our evolving relationship and the lessons we’ve learned along the way. Listen now on SoMomPod.com or your favorite podcast platform.
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